A Covid-19 Death. Isolation and Loneliness.

It is with immense sadness I write about a dear relative of mine who died at Chennai recently due to Covid-19-related heart failure. The isolation and loneliness a death brings may be easy to imagine. But difficult to live through for the immediate relations in this pandemic.

The unavoidable death. It was a cousin’s husband who died. A lanky gentleman, he was in his early seventies. He suffered from Covid-19 comorbidities — a chronic heart and lung disease. He likely contracted the virus when he could no longer defer required doctor’s visits. His terrible choice was between ignoring his disease or risking virus exposure. Those with comorbidities cannot be too careful.

The careful family. My cousin and her mother who live in that household are given to cleanliness and are stringent followers of recommended Covid-19 guidelines. They live in a spacious, uncongested dwelling in Chennai. The sudden Covid-19 infection and death of my cousin’s husband were a shock to all of us. My cousin and her much older mother also contracted the virus, but they have been spared with mild symptoms. Perhaps the viral load of their infection was small and my cousin’s husband succumbed essentially because of his comorbidities. Minimizing virus exposure helps no matter who you are.

Isolation and loneliness. Normally, when someone loses their spouse, they derive comfort from their friends and relations. In India, often there are multi-day ceremonies to remember the dead and console the living. No such was possible in this pandemic. Friends and family could not be by them and strangers would not be by them as they mourned alone. Many of us feel isolated in this pandemic. A death doubles that isolation and loneliness. Though we cannot be there with them physically, we must there for them.

Afterword. My cousin received a degree in Physics in India decades ago even as women in Physics remain the exception today. Her only daughter holds a doctoral degree in engineering even as women in engineering are still rare. The daughter lives with her family in America, separated by oceans and quarantines from her mother and grandmother, also isolated and sad. I share their sadness and I remember my recent visit with all of them at Chennai when I managed a picture of their four generations of women, as my cousin’s husband looked on. I wish for a brighter tomorrow for the family.